Vegan jokes are timeless... or are they? Let's admit it: vegans get a propensity for being stiff and incapable of laughing at themselves – yet this isn't the case.
Many funny jokes (well, humor is subjective, isn’t it?) will actually make people weep with laughter – or at the very least inspire a slight smile. Some of them are downright revolting, but hey ho!
Vegans are sometimes accused of lacking a sense of humor, yet laughing at yourself is an excellent way to improve your health and happiness.
If you're searching for tofu jokes, veggie jokes, funny vegan jokes, vegan dad jokes, or vegan puns, this is the place to come. While some of these vegan jokes may cause a little cringe, we wish they also put a smile on your face too.
So, without any further hemming and hawing, here's our pick of the most popular vegan jokes that will make you chuckle like a baby.
Jokes about beef
The vegetarian beef joke may be told in two ways. Take a look at each of them to see which one you like.
Take one example:
1) Is it still called Beef if two vegans fight?
Take Number Two:
2) Beef is not a term used to describe a disagreement between two vegetarians.
Only two folks with bad tempehs.
The traditional vegan joke
3) Q: How do you determine whether or not someone is vegan?
A: Relax; they'll inform you inside the first two minutes of meeting you.
The one that makes you shudder
4) Q: What was the reason the vegan got fired?
A: His work performance failed to meat expectations.
The one that is really fairly great
5) Q: What is it about vegans that makes them the greatest friends on the planet?
A: They never ever have a beef with anyone.
6) Q: When his buddy ate meat by mistake, what did the vegan say to him?
A: "It was a meat-steak!".
Jokes about food
Without at least a couple jokes regarding vegetarian cuisine, any list of the greatest vegetarian jokes would be incomplete. Indeed, these jokes may be the most prevalent since, after all, vegetarian comedy is centered on their eating habits.
7) This banana is vegan-friendly.
Meat eater: It's delicious.
Vegan: Yes, it is vegan.
Meat eater: It tasted funny to me.
8) Q: To replace a light bulb, how many carnivores are needed?
A: None at all. They'd rather be in the dark!
9) Have you heard about the vegan Satanist?
Seitan bought his soul!
The anti-dairy joke
10) Q: How can I keep milk fresh for as long as possible?
A: Probably leave it in the cow!
A creepy vegan joke
11) Q: Why are the majority of ghosts vegans?
A: It's because they're super-natural!
Disney's joke
12) Q: What did Aladdin become once he became a vegan?
A: Saladdin, to be precise.
The NSFW question
13) Q: Why is almond milk referred to as "milk"?
A: Because no one could maintain a straight face while calling it "nut juice."
14) Q: Why didn't the vegan apply for the job at the supermarket?
A: He didn't think the celery was enough.
15) Q: The horror film one question: What is a vegan zombie's meal?
A: GRAINS!
16) Q: When her vegan buddy inquired whether she had anything ready for supper, what did she say?
A: "I haven't plant anything yet."
17) Q: Why was the vegan man's girlfriend so fortunate?
A: Her ring was worth quite a bit of carrots.
One-Liners for Vegetarians
When you recall a good one-liner, it tends to stick in your brain and make you chuckle each time you recall it. Snappy one-liners abound in vegetarian comedy, which may be found on message boards, car stickers, Twitter, and everywhere else online or offline. Although the majority of these jokes are anti-vegetarian, they are amusing regardless.
The one-word remark
18) Q: My girlfriend's life altered dramatically once she became vegan.
A: It's as if I've never seen herbivore.
The one with a good sense of humour
19) Q: I've come to the conclusion that tofu is overpriced.
A: It’s just a curd to me.
20) Q: Why was just vegan food served at the high school soccer game?
A: There were a lot of pro-teens there.
21) When it comes making vegetarian jokes, I target a lot of foods... but never about tofu, that really just tasteless.
22) What do you call a Viking who has converted to veganism? Norvegan.
Jokes About People Being Eaten
Several of the finest vegetarian jokes concern individuals who eat other people. This kind of comedy, it is supposed, follows a simple logic. Vegetarians follow a specific plant-based diet, thus a few jokes about them might be amusing.
There are almost limitless jokes about cannibals, vegetarians being devoured, or at least suggestions that some people like eating vegans. Take a look at a handful of the more impressive examples:
A Bumper Sticker
23) Eat one vegetarian to spare a cow!
Joke about a restaurant
24) Q: Do you serve vegetarians here?
A: Of course, how do you want them prepared?
This joke is the subject of an urban legend. According to reports, a few smart waiters made the joke while their vegetarian clients were making their order.
Jokes about vegetarians
Question jokes that begin with "what do" or "what is" are undoubtedly quite familiar to you. They've even found their way into vegetarian comedy. Many of these jokes are sleazy or downright offensive, but they're still entertaining, so we won't include them in this article.
Instead, the following vegetarian jokes are based on a series of questions and answers that are meant to be funny takes on the vegetarian lifestyle:
25) Q: Who is Bruce Lee's vegan brother?
A: Brocco Lee.
26) Q: What do you name a post-punk band that is vegetarian?
A: Soy Division.
27) Q: Why didn't the DJ think about becoming a vegan?
A: He was notorious for dropping the beet.
28) Q: What do you call a vegan who is a hardliner?
A: Lactose intolerant.
29) Q: How many vegans does it take to replace a light bulb?
A: Two. One to replace it and the other to inspect it for animal components.
30) Q: How can you become a nutritionist in the shortest amount of time?
A: Speak with a vegan. When you meet a vegan, everyone becomes an authority on food.
31) Q: Why was it that the vegan was constantly getting into fights?
A: She had a history of getting into corn-frontations.